Questions about painting floors and fixing drawers

In an act of utter avoidance of household responsibilities, (the cat barfed, spectacularly, more than once, from a height of four feet, onto the white carpet.) I've decided to forego this week's column - "A Popular Guide to Stain Removal" - and focus instead on readers' questions and suggestions.

Hi there,
I have a question for you regarding my bathroom floor. I just finished renovating my bathroom and I am about to buy some tiles for the floor, however I had a thought about my existing floor, which is in great shape but it's gross. Can I paint it? It's stick-down tiles, it has a finish on it. Is there any way painting the floor is an option? I am trying to do the bathroom a cheaply as possible as the money is pretty tight right now.
I would love to hear from you. Thank you!
Lisa Hamilton

Hi Lisa,
Great question. In my previous house I endured pink floral vinyl for years before I realized you could paint the stuff. It takes a few extra steps. Paint doesn't want to adhere to vinyl, so it has to be convinced. There are some tricks that will help. It's great to have the option of painting because you can create any dang design you want. Since it's a bathroom floor, here's a low maintenance design suggestion: Paint the background white, and then paint dark hairs all over it. Then the real hair will just blend in. I'm full of great ideas!

Here's what it takes to paint over a vinyl floor:

1. Clean the floor with tri-sodium phosphate (TSP).
2. Sand the entire surface with 180-grit sandpaper to remove the glossy finish on the vinyl surface. Try 3M 'Sandblaster' sandpaper. It doesn't clog up and it cuts like mad, so the job will go faster.
3. Most vinyl flooring is textured, so even after sanding you'll still see pockets of shine in the little dimples on the surface texture. Time to bring in a liquid assailant. Use de-glosser (available at paint supply stores) on a clean rag to remove sheen from the tiny depressions where the sandpaper didn't reach. The de-glosser etches the surface, giving it what professionals call 'tooth', so the paint can adhere more efficiently.
4. Apply a water-based bonding primer for paint-resistant surfaces (Home Hardware's Acry-loc, is great), and let it cure.
5. Depending on how textured the original surface was, you may want to sand the surface again, then hit it with a second coat of primer.
6. Wait 48 hours for the primer to cure. Beer may be required to help pierce the suspense.
7. Tape a new design on your floor (if you're doing something geometric). If you do tape off the design, use BLUE masking tape. It's specially engineered so it won't pull the primer off. Blue tape rocks.
8. Paint the floor using wear-resistant water-based, 'porch and floor' paint.
9. Add stencilling or freehand curlicues or inscribe whimsical quotations about toilets or whatever your wildly gyrating creativity demands.
10. If you don't think you're going to get around to installing ceramic tile for a few years, apply two topcoats of clear water-based urethane (Varathane Diamond Coat is great) to protect your new floor.
11. Let the last coat cure for a couple of days before using the floor. Since you're doing a bathroom, crossing the floor may be unavoidable, so at least put down some heavy craft paper to minimize scuffing while the paint is still fresh.

Tools and Materials

• Sanding block and/or sanding pole
• 3M 'Sandblaster' 180-grit sandpaper
• Deglosser (also known as 'liquid sandpaper')
• Water-based acrylic primer for paint-resistant surfaces
• Water-based 'porch and floor' paint - designed to withstand foot traffic
• Water-based urethane (optional)
• Paint rollers and brushes
• Stencil pattern of human hair

Dear Mag,
When you spoke of "Roaring Drawers" in in a previous article, and advised applying soap to them, I found that that usually makes things worse for me, necessitating scraping it off somehow. Apparently soap is hydrostatic, meaning it attracts water (makes sense doesn't it), thus contributing to my stuck drawers becoming stiffer still to open.

An elderly carpenter advised me to use wax instead - it repels humidity but still provides the easy-slide solution. For decades he carried a simple tall dinner candle in his toolbox - the base perfect for rubbing over drawer runners, and the tip into recessed slides, etc.
Whatcha think?
David Waite

Thanks David, that's brilliant. Nobody wants moist drawers. Carry the candle. I also want to commend your spare, athletic use of the word "hydrostatic". Just saying "hydrostatic" invokes a surge of confidence. I now use it often. For example, eating an entire bowlful of pistachio nuts has made my eyelids 'hydrostatic', and I think we both know that's not quite the same as 'puffy'. It's more complex and only vaguely attributable to gluttony. Thanks for the tips.

Note: You might even go one step further with your drawers. Lee Valley Tools stocks "Conservator's Wax" ($9.95 for 125 ml., which will last most people a lifetime), a fantastic microcrystalline wax that cleans off any old soap or wax and forms a hard, slick surface. If applied to the entire drawer it will provide a moisture-resistant finish, and reduce swelling and sticking, especially during humid periods. This clear, light wax can also be used on metal, ceramic, marble, leather, gilding, photographs and even paper. It was developed by museums and art galleries to protect fine art from moisture, finger marks and airborne pollutants.