Changing a ball faucet

Nothing sucks the life out of your day faster than plumbing. Did that sound negative? Let me rephrase that. Nothing equals the educational value of trying to fix a drippy kitchen faucet. Did that sound insincere? I just can't compromise, so choose the one that's closest to your personality and we'll go from there.

Plumbing is a filter for human nature. You either go in and come out the other side, radiant. Or you come right back out the way you went in and the only thing that's changed is that the leak is worse now. You can test your personality today if you have a rotating ball faucet that won't quite shut off anymore.

There are four common faucet assembly styles: disk, cartridge, rotating ball and compression. Here are some clues that indicate you have a rotating ball model:

• The faucet is operated by a single stick shift style handle
• There is a small 'set screw' visible just underneath the overhanging handle
• The lower region of the handle flares to a half-dome shape

TIP: Only attempt plumbing on a day when you have available, fast transportation to the hardware store. Odds are good that you'll be making at least two trips.

Steps

1. Turn off the water supply valves under the sink. There may be several if you have a dishwasher or a reverse osmosis water system. Identify the pipes or hoses that feed the faucet in question. If you find no valves at all, turn off the water supply to the whole house.
2. Select an Allen wrench (the hex-head L-shaped 'keys' that come with IKEA products) that fits the set screw under the faucet handle. Turn it counterclockwise until the handle can be easily removed.
3. Use tongue-in-groove pliers (the kind with the sliding tyrannosaurus-style jaws) to grip the knurled edge of the cap. Twist it counterclockwise until it can be removed.
4. Using a small screwdriver, lift and remove the cam (usually plastic), followed by the rubber cam seal and ball.
5. You'll see three little holes in the bottom of the faucet. Two of them have spring-loaded rubber inlet seals. Pop them out with a small screwdriver.
6. Usually you'll only need to replace these two tiny seals and their respective springs, but put ALL the parts in a plastic bag and take it with you to the hardware store.
7. Oh, but before you go, notice the brand name on the faucet. This will be important later.
8. The hardware store's plumbing aisle is a wall of perplexity daring you to claim the correct replacement kit out of hundreds of choices. Don't be dismayed. Nothing can stop you now. Well, something can, but we'll get to that.
9. Each different package of inlet seals is stamped with the brand name of one of the manufacturers who make mass-market plumbing accessories: Delta, Cuthbert, Valley and Peerless, for example. Choose the inlet seals that match the name of your faucet. Compare them to the ones in your plastic bag. Oh, did you forget to bring the bag like I did? Just guess then. How hard can it be to remember exactly what they looked like?
10. On your second trip to the hardware store, bring the bag.
11. If the store doesn't have the precise inlet seals that fit your faucet, either choose a larger repair kit that contains all the parts in your plastic bag, or go to a different hardware store.
12. Go home and install the replacement inlet seals, then put the rest of the parts back together.
13. IMPORTANT: If the ball contains a slot, align the slot with the little pin on the edge of the faucet body.
14. ALSO IMPORTANT: There's a little tab on the cam that drops into a notch on the faucet body. Line these up or you won't be able to screw down the cap.
15. FINAL TIP: When you're attaching the handle, the set screw has to tighten securely against the flat area on the ball's stem. If the handle isn't centred perfectly, the set screw won't hit the flat spot, and the handle will wobble like mad when you're done. Wiggle the handle as you tighten the set screw and you'll find the right spot.

Once you've put the faucet back together, turn the water supply on and test the faucet. Take your pulse. Less than 120 qualifies as 'radiant'.