European hinges

With European style hinges, the cabinet door is hinged directly to the inside wall of the cabinet by a complex-looking mechanism.

If you've recently had a frustrating encounter with a bureaucrat, here's a suggestion: Simply adjust your kitchen cabinet hinges so the doors are properly aligned. This is the only human undertaking that is more irritating than trying to get information from a bureaucrat. Adjusting your hinges will teach you that bureaucrats are infinitely more soothing to the nerves than 'simple' home maintenance chores. So your next trip to the Ministry of Transport will be pure nirvana.

Not every style of hinge is annoying, so yours may not count. But if you have European style hinges, where the cabinet door is hinged directly to the inside wall of the cabinet by a complex-looking mechanism, then OH BABY - you're the perfect candidate for this exasperating exercise.

For clarification, European hinges are fitted with several screws (sometimes hidden underneath a snap-off decorative nameplate). By making subtle adjustments to those screws, you can tune up doors that may be hanging in weird ways. For example:

• The doors pop forward and remain slightly open.
• The bottom edges of the doors don't line up.
• The doors are tilted.
• On a double door cabinet, there is a huge gap between the doors when they're closed.
• Or the opposite: the doors are too close together and they bind on each other.

Count the number of screws on one of your hinges. Multiply this number by 25 to calculate your diastolic blood pressure by the time you're finished. Still want to continue? Okay, but this was your idea.

There are dozens of brands of Euro-hinges. The designs vary and so do the screw positions. The important thing to remember is that each screw performs its own job and your task is to guess what that job might be. Possibilities are:

• The screw secures the hinge to the door or cabinet frame.
• The screw adjusts the cabinet doors up or down. (The same screw may be doing double duty securing the hinge to the door or frame.)
• The screw secures the hinge assembly to the brackets or baseplate. This particular screw also adjusts the plane of the door (once it's in closed position) either closer to, or further from, the front plane of the cabinet.
• The screw adjusts the doors left or right. This is the single factor that makes Euro hinges so hela-popular. Even if the cabinet isn't remotely square you can tilt the doors to make them look square. Adjusting one hinge tilts the door. Adjusting both the top and bottom hinge shifts the entire door left or right.

If you can't guess the function of a screw merely by looking at it, then gird your loins. We're going in. You'll need a Phillips screwdriver, the kind with the 'x'-shaped business end.

This stage of the process is aptly named 'trial and error', although in the ToolGirl Dictionary of Hardware and Construction Slang, it shows up variously as 'fix and fail', 'test and swear' or 'check and chuck'. If you're a hotheaded tool-thrower, make sure you put on a recording of Soothing Bullfrogs at Sunset or Gaelic Harp Stylings of The Murdoch Sisters to offset aggravation.

Two hints:

• The back screw is usually the one that moves the door in or out and locks the door in place. You should see a channel in the hinge arm that allows the hinge to slide in or out. Loosen the screw, slide the hinge a little, then re-tighten the screw. Check the door, then re-adjust, ad curseum, until it's right.
• The front screw usually moves the door left or right. Turning the screw clockwise moves the door one way; counter-clockwise moves it the other way. Try to see which way the door moves. Sometimes it's not obvious which way it went until you close the door.

Major Tip:

Work on the bottom hinge when you're in the early stages of experimentation. That way, if the door falls off the hinge you don't get ka-bonged. I learned the hard way.

If all your cabinet doors are slightly wonky, it's best to start in the middle and work all the way to the left from the centre door. Then start back at center and work to the right.

Adjusting hinges takes stamina and persistence. Once you're done, you'll understand what it feels like to have your blood boil. But your doors will be straight. And that's a priority we can all aspire to.