Hints on installing curtains

There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who use towels and old blankets for curtains, and the kind who go to the trouble of installing proper drapes. Up until now, I've always been a towel girl. Tacking up towels is my way of being optimistic about moving to a better place soon.

But at last I've landed in a house I like well enough to fix up with real curtains. This is the equivalent of landing a man and then correcting him whenever he's wrong about directions or grammar or women. You are finally investing in a stock you'll never want to trade up on, so it's worth the effort. (He will be flattered by your attention to his mistakes, knowing that your incessant corrections are a reflection of your commitment to the relationship.)

Coincidentally, the curtain industry is as old as the institution of marriage, ostensibly because what people do after they're married requires curtains by law. But curtains have come a long way since they were a greasy animal hide tied across a cave entrance. For one thing, they can be staggeringly expensive compared to, say, a greasy animal hide. Also, they're now called "window treatments" by those in the know, although you still won't catch most people saying, "I feel frisky; let's close the window treatments."

If you paid handsomely for your window coverings, or even if you didn't but you still want them to look great, here are some installation hints from a reformed towel devotee:

1. Think about your window for a moment. Builders don't just cut a hole in a building and call it a window. They have to reinforce the edges of the opening so the rest of the wall doesn't collapse into the space. To that end, they put a stout miniature beam in place across the top edge of the window. This "header" carries the load of the building across the span of the window opening. Technically, you're supposed to screw into this header when you're mounting curtain hardware, because merely screwing into drywall may not offer enough support for the weight of the fabric and/or hardware. But screwing into wood isn't always practical.
2. For example, if your window has wide trim, the header may not extend beyond the trim. You don't want to mount curtain-rod brackets through the trim into the header. So you can try to find a stud that'll work, but you probably won't find one in the very spot you've chosen to mount your bracket. In this case you MUST use hollow-wall anchors to keep the screws from chewing up the drywall and then falling out, taking your drapes with them. If you have lath and plaster walls, toggle bolt anchors work best.
3. Traditionally, window height is set to match door height in a room. If your windows are set lower than the door height, your curtains may appear heavy and oppressive. Try raising the level of the curtain rod to the height of the doors to provide a feeling of balance and expansiveness. Also, the higher you set your curtain rod, the farther you can extend its width on either side of the window trim without the proportions looking dorky.
4. Position your mounting brackets by running an imaginary 45-degree line off the corner of the existing trim. Most trim is mitred, so just extend the line of the joint and place your bracket somewhere on that line according to what feels right to your eye. Copy the position of that bracket at the other corner of the window, then drill and mount the hardware. (See step-by-step photos for accurately positioning the brackets)
5. There are a zillion configurations of mounting hardware. Read the manufacturer's directions once and then follow your own instincts. One warning: If, the instructions say to use a level to establish the rod's horizontal position, IGNORE this advice. Most walls are not perfectly plumb and most windows and ceilings are not perfectly level. If you religiously set the rod using a level, then the window trim may look crooked, or the ceiling may appear wonky, probably because it IS. So it's critical to align the rod with the trim or the ceiling, whichever is CLOSEST to the plane of your rod, thus avoiding the misfortune of a crooked rod.
6. When selecting a bit prior to drilling a hole for an anchor, test the anchor itself in the empty hole in the drill index, to see if the hole is a good snug fit for the tubular anchor. There's nothing like the disappointment of an oversized hole.
7. Final Tip: When you're mounting window hardware you need to be in a finicky mood, with the kind of anal, exacting, pinched concentration you had the last time you decided to alphabetize your freezer contents. Believe it or not, there is a use for that state of mind. The best thing is that once you get the curtains hung you'll feel so perky, you might need to close those curtains right away.