Defeat fashion-eating insects naturally

One of the best things about aging is that you don't have to get dressed up so often. When you're young you can make people think you're competent just by wearing the right outfit. But I've made enough mistakes by now that I can't fool people anymore.

Sometimes though, one still has to make the effort. Like when the in-laws are coming for a visit. Now, I've only met my in-laws once in thirteen years, right after the elopement, so their impressions probably weren't favourable. Now they're coming to see us so I'll have a chance to appear respectable in a conservative suit.

Only trouble is, my suit has tiny chunks of itself missing. Chunks the size of a moth's mouth. This has made me uber-crabby about moths, silverfish and other munching wee heathen. So here's a solution based on what people do in the Deep South, where bugs are the size of oxen.

The Southern secret is to line closets with aromatic cedar. Bugs hate the smell and move on to someone else's closets. Aromatic cedar is sold in Canadian hardware stores in two formats: mixed lengths, or 48" lengths. I went with the uniform 48" boards and installed them vertically, like wainscoting, instead of horizontally, like the inside of a sauna.

NOTE: Aromatic cedar shavings are what we Northerners use to line hamster cages, so you may be put off when your clothes smell like rodent bedding. Get past that psychological barrier and you're moth-free.

Steps to Bugless Smugness

1. Remove clothing (not THAT clothing - the stuff in the closet) and existing shelving.
2. Using a utility knife, cut through caulking along the top of the baseboard and in the mitred corners. Pull back any carpeting. Start removing baseboard next to the doorway where there's a square cut end. Use pry bars to gently lift baseboard away from wall. Don't reef on it aggressively; you'll just split it and have to replace it and if your home is older, good luck matching what you busted.
3. Clean up baseboard pieces, removing old caulk with a utility knife. Pull nails by yanking them through from the bad side with tongue-and-groove pliers. Don't split the dang baseboard!
4. If you have really intense bug issues, sprinkle non-toxic boric acid around the edge of the closet prior to installing the cedar.
5. Mark a top horizontal edge so you know where you're working to. All my boards were 48" tall, but you might be working with mixed lengths, so decide accordingly. Use a stud finder to mark the stud locations so you have the option of nailing into studs.
6. Start installing boards next to the trim inside the door of the closet. Put several squiggles of glue on the rough side of the first board. Place the board's grooved edge against the door trim. TIP: Use water-based LePage 'Power Grab' adhesive instead of panel glue or construction adhesive; it's a bit more expensive but you don't need a caulking gun. The easy-to-use dispenser works like hair mousse. Power Grab adheres really fast, cleans up with soapy water and doesn't smell badly.
7. In addition to using adhesive, nail the board in place if it's curvy, bowed or twisted and won't line up properly. Use finish nails with tiny heads. Sink the heads using a nail set. Nail into studs where possible. By the way, if you have lath and plaster walls, pre-drill for nails or you'll just bend 'em on the unyielding plaster. TIP: Don't nail too close to the tongue-edge of the board: you'll have trouble fitting the next groove over it because the installed board is set too tight against the wall. ANOTHER TIP: Install the cedar boards as soon as you open the box! Cedar is famous for twisting and bowing in response to humidity and heat changes.
8. Periodically measure the distance from the top and bottom of your installation to the next corner, so you know if the boards are plumb relative to the upcoming corner. Cheat by tilting boards subtly. When you reach the corner, you'll probably have to rip a board to fit the last space. If the space isn't square, measure the top and bottom dimensions of the space and mark a fresh board accordingly. Use a straight-edge to connect the two marks, then cut along the line. If your cut is inaccurate or really gnarly, run cove moulding vertically in all the corners to cover gaps or rough edges.
9. Once you've installed all the cedar, use a handsaw or power mitre saw to trim your baseboard pieces to fit the new dimensions of your closet (since you've added 3/8" of cedar on all sides).
10. Reinstall the baseboard using finish nails. Sink nail heads with a nail set. Fill nail holes with wood-filler putty or caulking, and touch up with paint if necessary. TIP: If you have carpeting, install the baseboard 1/2" up from the floor surface, letting the carpet run underneath the baseboard. If you have hardwood floors, install the baseboard flush against the flooring. Re-caulk the corners of the baseboard; don't bother caulking along the top of the baseboard - it looks messy against the cedar.
11. Add optional cap rail (sometimes called "ply cap") to trim out the top edge of the cedar. Cap rail is notched at the back to fit over wainscoting or paneling. Prime and paint the cap rail BEFORE installation - it's way easier. Install the cap rail with Power Grab and an occasional finish nail. You'll probably have to caulk heavily along the top edge of the cap rail, since the cedar is thicker than what cap rail is designed to cover.

That's it. Lining your closets with cedar adds huge value to your home and protects your fashion investments. Then when your in-laws say, "Do I smell hamster?" smile smugly and say "We're having it for dinner." That'll impress them even if your suit doesn't.

Tools

• Pry bars
• Utility knife
• Tongue-and-groove pliers
• Hammer
• Safety glasses
• Measuring tape
• Stud finder
• Handsaw or power mitre saw
• Nail set
• Straight-edge

Materials

• Aromatic cedar
• LePage's "Power Grab" adhesive
• Primer and paint
• 1" finish nails
• Wood putty or paintable caulk
• Cap rail