Paint for the non-enthusiast

Some people cannot resist the urge to decorate. For others, resisting is effortless. Determine your category by taking this simple quiz:

a) I frequently update the style, paint and accessories in my home.
b) People who need more than one paintjob per lifetime are more neurotic than me.

a) I love to envision my living space with different furnishings.
b) What's wrong with my plaid recliner?

a) I enjoy the dazzling array of paint chips at the hardware store, and like to play with lots of colours before making my decision.
b) I mix all my old paint into one big pail of colour and call it "Chip This".

a) I energize myself by looking at decorating magazines.
b) Oh spare me.

If you answered mostly A's, you can proudly surrender to your decorating gene. Go forth and upgrade.

If you answered mostly B's, welcome to my world. For B's, even paint selection is torture. Confronted by millions of hues, textures, sheens, quality levels and recommended palettes, we experience annoyance. Do you know there are more than 15,000 commercial formulas for "white"? The A's know, and grin with anticipation. The B's feel their diastolic blood pressure squeeze up a notch.

Paint Misbehavin'

But now, because of one woman, paint has changed forever. Gretchen Schlauffler, an irrepressible artist from Portland Oregon, is bringing salvation to non-decorators. Gretchen started her company, Devine Color, when friends kept asking her to blend custom paint colours for their homes (and unlike B's everywhere, Gretchen is actually good at this).

But she wanted to do more than just bring another designer palette to the world. She wanted to create a new experience in painting. So, working closely with chemical engineers, Gretchen developed a yogurt-rich, virtually odourless new paint. And here's the best news; there are only 115 colours and they're all glorious. No more chip hell.

Devine Color is profoundly thick and creamy, so it covers with unprecedented ease. It comes in three formulations (for walls, trim and ceilings). All three are water-based, low-odour, durable, stain resistant and can be washed with warm, soapy water.

Test in Peace

I tested the paint myself and loved it beyond belief, but I'm not an expert. So I got professional painter Jim Taylor to weigh in as he worked on my friend Leah's place using Devine Color.

Jim Taylor works as a scenic painter for the film and television industry. He's painted hundreds of thousands of square feet on theatre sets, sound stages, houses and commercial buildings. Jim knows paint.

I watched as he carefully pried open a can of Devine Luscious Trim paint, dipped his finger into it and rubbed the paint thoughtfully between his thumb and index finger.

"Mmm, lots of texture, feels chalky," murmured Jim.

"Is that bad?" I asked.

"No, that's good. Lots of resins: they didn't skimp on quality." said Jim.

I left him alone to enjoy the sensual abandon of his medium. A few days later, I got this e-mail from Jim:

Hands-down the best paint I've ever used and I fear I'm spoiled from here on in.

I loved the Devine Trim paint right away. It's really silky but not given to running. Its body and pigment density are immediately apparent and applied with a worn-in Purdy's 3" All Paints sash brush it handles beautifully. I could cut a thick, decently opaque layer with no fear of sags. I was surprised at how far it stretched too.

Devine Ceiling paint is thicker than your average high-end paint and with much better colour density than other premium paint brands. Like the trim paint it has thickness, control and stretch. Though not spatter-proof, it certainly spatters less.

Devine Wall paint rolls like a dream. With other paints there is a noticeable difference between two and three coats but here total opacity was achieved in two.

Does this paint contain high amounts of cholesterol?

Leah chose Devine Custard for the living room/dining room. The kitchen is Devine Ginger, and all ceilings are Devine Whip. The colours are buoyant, soft, luminescent, touchable and velvety. "I want people to live colour to the fullest," says Gretchen. Thanks to her supreme vision, it's time to paint something. Let us all toast the end of decorator's remorse.

Chips Ahoy

If you have bad decorating karma, you can buy test pouches of Devine paint for $5. A two-ounce pouch covers approximately four square feet. No more chips. No more waste. No more unusable test quarts filling your garage.

Devine Color is available across Canada in smaller, independent paint stores. All 115 colours come in Delicate Wall Finish ($45.99/gallon), Luscious Trim Finish ($52.99/gallon) or Canopy Interior Ceiling Finish ($43.99/gallon).