Vinegar: A 10,000-year-old discovery with 10,000 uses

I spent most of the weekend cleaning out the garage. I like the energy surge I get from the act of alphabetizing clutter. Unfortunately I left "Plumbing" out of my Dewey Decimal system. I tried horsing the plumbing supplies between "Pliers" and "Rags", but it didn't fit. I shoved the box of solder, fittings and flux under a table and imperiously moved on to alphabetizing all the solvents, chemicals and garden products that I've collected, most sitting in acrid little puddles of their own making.

A lot of these products smell bad. I noticed that most labels display skulls or pictures of explosions. Not convinced I would ever need to dissolve flesh or blow something up, I boxed the aging chemicals and stored them (unalphabetized) for the next hazardous waste day. Then I went to the grocery store and stocked up on a few gallons of distilled vinegar.

Vinegar has been around since people have been drinking alcoholic beverages. Early civilisations as far back as the Sumerians used vinegar as a condiment, a preservative, a medicine, an antibiotic and a detergent. It's non-toxic, inexpensive, and wickedly effective. It doesn't pollute, combust or eat bodily tissue. It's readily available, won't rot, and never loses its strength.

In a salute to the wisdom of the ancients, I suggest pouring yourself an alcoholic beverage and studying this list of unusual uses for vinegar, the ancient miracle fluid.

Outdoors

• If you park outside in winter, mix 3 parts vinegar to 1 part water and spray it on your car windows in the evening to prevent frost and ice from forming.
• If your cat leaves buried treasure in the kids' sandbox, pour vinegar around the edges of the sandbox every couple of months. The cat will take his business to the neighbour's sandbox.
• Bug spray: Put undiluted vinegar in a spray bottle and add several drops of dish detergent. Blast the bugs with the spray. No fog, no fumes, no toxicity, no bugs.

Workshop

• White vinegar is a solvent for many glues (including stubborn old wallpaper paste); Apply vinegar to the unwanted bond and let it soak in until the bond weakens.
• Mix white vinegar with water-based inks to create gorgeous stains for wood. The resulting finish has a silvery sheen and a deep, transparent tint. Pour vinegar into a mixing jar, add ink until the desired concentration is achieved. Apply with brush or rag, wiping away excess.
• Age new lumber by brushing on a solution made in the following way: Soak a bunch of rusty old stuff in a jar of white vinegar. After two or three days, the solution will be ready to apply. Depending upon the amount of tannin in the wood, the 'stain' will turn the wood either silvery or almost black. Try a test patch first.
• Pickling wood - Soak a handful of galvanized nails in white vinegar for 2-3 days. The vinegar dissolves the galvanizing and when applied to oak will produce a beautiful grey "dusty" look to the oak.

Indoors

• Remove stubborn mildew smell (or pet odours) from fabric by adding 2 cups of white vinegar to the rinse cycle.
• Vinegar is a great solvent for grease. Clean deep fryers by boiling vinegar and water in them. Use straight vinegar to clean range hoods and greasy appliance surfaces.
• Insider's Tip: Make a cheap cleaner for flooring, including Pergo and laminates: 1/3 part white vinegar, 1/3 part rubbing alcohol (to speed drying), 1/3 part water, several drops of dishwashing liquid. Spray and mop.
• To set a permanent knife-edge crease in pants, dip a cloth in a 50/50 mixture of vinegar and water. Wring out the cloth and then press the creases.
• De-skunk the air when people visit wearing too much perfume; spray the air with a 50/50 solution of water and vinegar.
• If you habitually leap out of bed in the middle of the night trying to ease foot or leg cramps, try boosting your potassium level: Mix 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, 1 teaspoon of honey and a cup of hot water, and drink before hitting the sack.
• Cure hiccups instantly by swallowing a teaspoon of vinegar. Your body will shudder like a ship hitting a reef and you may swear in disgust, but your hiccups will stop.