Gambling man

I went to a casino recently and was shocked at the number of guys my age who frequented the place.

I would have thought we were all a little long in the tooth to be risking the family fortune at slot machines and blackjack tables. I understand we're also the biggest customer group for lottery tickets.

I think I have an explanation for this apparent lunacy. At our age, if the plan's not working, we need a new one.

Yes, we understand that the rewards in life come from hard work and consistent effort. But that's in the long run.

After you hit middle age, you don't have a long run; you have a short walk.

From the car to the casino.

Choice memories

Looking back over my life and the lives of my friends, I have to say that choice is largely overrated.

The things that have worked out for me are the things over which I had no control. Like the value of my house or the woman I married. Whereas when I got to express my free will and actually made choices, things didn't go so well. I'm talking about the Beatle haircut and the Speedo.

I think, for most of us, there's a kind of destiny that guides our lives, and it's futile to fight that. It's like making plans for the weekend before checking with your wife.

They say people succeed by making the right choices in their lives, but I disagree.

I think people succeed by adapting to the choices that have been made for them.

I do understand, though, that people feel stifled without choices. So life unfolds in such a way that we think we're making choices even though we're not. In fact, our entire election system is based on that principle.

Think again

One of the ways of keeping an alert mind well into your declining years is to keep your brain active as often as possible. Play bridge or do crossword puzzles or try to explain to your wife why you bought that boat.

The worst thing you can do is to let your mind go idle. Here are some danger signs to watch for that indicate you may have stopped thinking:

• There's a promotion coming up at work and you're sure you're going to get it.
• You notice women looking at you seductively.
• You have an upcoming parent-teacher meeting and expect it to go well.
• You bought a used Lada on eBay.
• You believe you can comb your hair in such a way that nobody can see your bald spot.
• You buy clothes that are too small because you're going to lose weight.
• You expect the government to do something.

Car care

I have a friend who wanted a new car, but he had to talk his wife into it. He really loved this car. He suggested that since they had an important anniversary coming up, they could buy the car for each other. That way each of them would own half of the car. That's how bad he wanted this car.

Well, the magic day came and he brought the car home. When his wife wanted to take it for a spin, he stopped her, pointing out that he owned the driver's side, which included all the controls and the gearshift, whereas she should stay in her half, which included the glove compartment and the lighted vanity mirror on the sun visor.

He doesn't seem to like the car all that much anymore, now that he's living in it.

Quote of the day

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." -- Red Green