Power tools make short work of minimalist window boxes

In my bedroom there lives a haunted dresser. It's a tall old 'highboy' built in the 1940s and it belonged to my Dad for over 50 years. In the night it speaks in volleys of ten pops and creaks per 3-second phrase. (If you ever saw The Princess Bride, think of the noise the fire-swamp made just before it released a flare of flames. That's what this dresser does, only louder.)

The experts would say that since the dresser is placed against an outside wall, the temperature changes cause expansion and contraction noises. And that may be true. But here's the weird thing. Whenever the dresser makes a racket, I methodically get up and go downstairs to check on my Mum, who lives with us and sometimes gets restless in the night. Sure enough, every time Dad's old dresser wakes me up, Mum is on the move.

Meaningless, random booms and cracks I could accept from a dresser. But what about a flawless record, year after year, always alerting me at the precise moment my Mum rises? How do you respond to a dresser that possesses an unswerving dedication to the well-being of your closest living relative?

You say thank you, but you have a weird expression on your face and you close the bedroom door so no one will hear you talking to your drawers.

Boom with a View

I decided there was one more way to say thank you: improving the dresser's view. Its outlook is limited to the wall of our garage, a vast horizon of white vinyl siding with a single window. My Dad was a great gardener, so in honour of his dresser's unerring service, I built a window box yesterday and filled it with flowers.

My window box is a little unconventional because normal window boxes have issues: They press against a building trapping moisture and creating an opening for rot. They are never deep enough for the roots of most plants, which require at least 8" of root depth to be healthy. (Most window boxes are closer to 6" deep).

Another problem with window boxes is that as the plants grow and become root bound, they push the soil level up so it's even with the rim of the window box. This makes watering a total pain because you can't just pour in an inch of water and walk away. You have to stand there dribbling water slowly over the surface until it absorbs as much as you have the patience to give it.

Also, window boxes look clunky and boring until your plants get bushy and cascade over the front, if they ever do. (Stingy window box dimensions pinch growth the way a tight high-heel turns your foot into a pointy bunion-clad curiosity.)

So instead of a box I made a frame that holds nice deep plant pots. The plywood deck shades the pots most of the day. The unit is mounted in such a way that it doesn't ride against the wall. It's hung using wire instead of unsightly brackets. It's easier to make than a sandwich. Have I mentioned I'm not very good in the kitchen?

Supplies

• Exterior-grade plywood
• 1" x 2" cedar
• 4 small eyebolts
• Rust-resistant screws
• Outdoor wood glue
• Non-corrosive wire (aluminium or copper)
• Picture-hanger springs
• Compass
• Clamps
• Drill
• Jigsaw
• Pliers

Steps

1. Measure the width of your window. Build the frame either larger or smaller than the width. (Making it the same size will give you an ungainly effect.)
2. Cut the exterior grade plywood to size. Mine was 26" x 9".
3. Use a compass to mark evenly spaced circles on the plywood. (The diameter of each circle should be halfway between the diameter across the top of the pot, and the diameter of the bottom of the pot.)
4. Cut the circles out with a jigsaw. (Drill a hole in the middle of each circle to insert the jigsaw blade.) Sand the edges of the holes lightly.
5. Cut pieces of 1" x 2" cedar to fit around the edge of the plywood.
6. Glue with outdoor wood glue and clamp in place.
7. Pre-drill and fasten the corners together with screws. Also screw the deck to the frame in at least four places.
8. Screw picture mounting springs (pkg.10/$2.95 at Lee Valley tools) into the back of the frame.
9. Screw one eyebolt into each side piece at the mid-point.
10. Put two screws in the wall about 6" below the window and hang the picture mounting springs on the screws. (Use concrete screws for brick or stucco.)
11. Pre-drill and screw two eyebolts into the wall just under the window and connect them to the side eyebolts with wire.
12. Put pots in place and listen to your haunted dresser pop with gratitude.