Installing "all purpose" baskets to reduce clutter

There's so little we can truly control. I was shocked into thinking about this today during a routine eyebrow-plucking episode. Several of my eyebrow hairs had developed new personalities. The hairs in question were thick, wiry and about as long as my arm.

Or were. They're gone now, tweezed and stored away for crocheting into a loofa on some winter evening. But that's not really controlling the problem, is it? If I had actual control, my eyebrow hairs would not have become boar bristles in the first place.

To control the body, one has to examine the evolutionary purpose of longer, coarser eyebrow hair in aging adults. Are bushy eyebrows intended to make us look like we have a more prominent brow ridge so younger primates will bow down in submission and give us their sandwiches once we've lost our teeth? That's my guess.

And what if I ever find one of those big hairs in my ear? That would be the one excuse I'd need to have a sex change operation. Because aging women are not supposed to grow their own earmuffs, whereas older men actually are, since they were originally the shivering hunters.

But my point is that we all need areas where we can control our environment. And I'm starting under the bathroom sink. I hid under there for awhile after the traumatic eyebrow hair incident. And that's when I realized I had a clutter problem.

But this was something I could control. I went to the Home Depot and in the kitchen cabinet section I found "All Purpose Baskets". Even the phrase "All Purpose" soothed me. It's a Fifties expression, from a time when everyone had the same front door with three panes of glass in a descending array (an All Purpose front door).

The baskets are easy to install. Just center the frame on the cabinet floor. Slide the basket into position and make sure you can still close the door. Remove the basket. Leaving the slide frame in position, use a pencil to mark the placement of the holes. Pre-drill pilot holes for the screws. Drive the four screws (included) through the frame into the cabinet floor.

Lube up the rails with the slide lubricant in the enclosed squeeze tube, which is helpfully labelled "SLIDE LUBRICANT". (They provide a generous amount so you'll have plenty left over to add extra shine to your hair.)

It took me under two minutes to mount one basket and load it up. Control was within my grasp, but I had a new problem. The basket wouldn't hold all the stuff that had been jumbled together in the cupboard. I was going to need to add a shelf, and maybe some extra sliding baskets on top of that.

Note

There's quite a range of manufacturers supplying sliding wire baskets to the world. The baskets I bought are somewhat cheesy but do a great job of organizing under-sink crud and making it more accessible.

If you're in the mood to do multiple cabinet makeovers, check out Lee Valley Tools for a stunning selection of high-quality stainless steel racks, drawers and carousels. Call 1-800-267-8767 to order the Lee Valley Hardware Catalogue.

You can also order high-quality Richelieu wire shelving and sliding baskets through Home Hardware or The Home Depot.