Rejection-proof gifts for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is approaching. It's time to recoup recent losses in your status.

For example, maybe that homemade cork trivet didn't net you the expected adoration during December's spate of gift giving. Valentine's Day offers you an opportunity to recover. But know the pitfalls.

Pitfall #1

If a homemade gift failed to impress a loved one in the past, another homemade gift (say, a hand-crafted jigsaw puzzle of a fridge for the inveterate dieter - Oh, I'm full of ideas) is likely to bomb too. You have one option for getting back on your loved one's dance card, or even getting back into your home. That option means spending cash on something flashy.

Pitfall #2

Something that is flashy to you, like a Lincoln Wire Feed Welder, may not win your valentine's heart, or even respect, or even acknowledgement of your existence. So try to notice hints they may be dropping.

Pitfall #3

You're probably not good at detecting hints, or you would never have thought their facial expression (wide-eyed, slightly frozen, distinct asymmetry of the lips) was a sign of appreciation after they unwrapped the cork trivet. Clarify your loved one's desires by kidnapping them and taking them to the village shaman for examination. If you've left it too late and the shaman is over-booked, here are a few suggestions for gifts under a million bucks (which you would be expected to spend if you had it).

A Measure of Your Love

The Ultimate ProTape is a cool gift for anyone with small pockets and big plans. Many people carry a compact 12-foot or 16-foot tape because longer tapes are cumbersome. The 25-foot Ultimate ProTape uses two small gear-driven spools that separate the tape and spring mechanism, eliminating the bulky single-spool and making the case fit elegantly into hand, pocket or purse - $29.95 at Lee Valley Tools.

Heart Ware

Get a beat on your valentine's affections with the MioShape watch, the world's first ECG-accurate wristwatch that does not require a clumsy chest strap. The MioShape is the most fun you can have with your sweatpants on and I'll tell you why; This little beauty tracks your heart rate, calculates percent of maximum heart rate (for your body weight and age) so you exercise at an optimum level whether your goal is weight loss or fitness. MioShape also tracks daily calorie input and calories burned during your workout. Invented by Vancouver businesswoman Liz Dickinson, the Mio watch also lets you manage stress by learning to control your heart rate, if not the bureaucrat behind the glass window. Mio owners also gain access to the online Club Mio, which charts their fitness progress with exercise tips, free weight management tools, updated calorie tables (including fast food restaurant items), an online personal diary, message boards and advice from personal trainers. Visit MIO for more information. (available through Fitter First)

So Ear to My Heart

Depending on how spectacularly you blew it at Christmas, you may need to travel the ancient path of humility, which usually ends in a jewellery purchase. But why buy cubic zirconias when you can get a gifted artisan to create a totally unique bijou for your sweetie? For example, Brenda Roy, owner of Work in Metal and Stone in Alliston, Ontario, designed and fabricated earrings I wanted to give to a friend. She sketched seven or eight beautiful designs (based on my request for a semi-Celtic deco-ish feeling). Then we narrowed it down to one, which she completed in a week's time using silver, moonstone and ruby. (Under $250, Brenda Roy, 705-435-8703)

Carve a Fever

If you're the kind of person who simply must give your valentine something you made yourself, I have one suggestion that might keep you out of trouble. Nothing says "I'm hot for you" like a sculpture of Aphrodite dallying with Adonis. Or maybe Homer annoying Marge. But practise your carving talents before you render your love in marble or hardwood. I recommend buying a v-groove gouge ($11.50) or a chip-carving knife ($27.50) from Lee Valley Tools. Then cover the surface of a candle with simple designs, or a favourite quotation, like "Time sneaks up on you, like a windshield on a bug." (Jon Lithgow). Once the candle is lit, the light shines more brightly where the wax has been removed, reminding you of how love shines better through an ego untarnished by the shame of bad gift-giving.