Make your own shoe rack for under $20

Made from inexpensive "gingerbread" trim, this shoerack gives you two layers of shoes, effectively doubling closet floor-space.

Did you know that in 15th century Spain some goofball fashionista came up with three-foot high platform shoes? Women went mad for these shoes, even though they required two helpers just to walk. Now, as a practical Canadian, you're probably thinking, "Why would any woman want to be hobbled by three-foot platforms?"

The answer to that question reveals the true weirdness of human nature. A 15th century woman incapacitated by fashion was perpetually useless but that's the way she WANTED it. Because being rendered helpless by expensive clothing sends a strong message to observers that the wearer cannot possibly lend a hand with any physical task. And why is THAT relevant? Because rich people don't work. So restrictive clothing is a signal of wealth and status.

There's explosive irony in fashion helplessness. For example, the other day I watched a willowy, platform-wearing teenager trying to run for a bus. She was moving as fast as she could. I clocked her at 5 yards in 2 minutes. Her high-status platforms made her miss the bus. Technically, she was duped by fashion, because if the whole point of wearing trendy footwear is to look aristocratic, she shouldn't really be using a bus, she should have a personal driver.

So I think the answer to fashion, which can encourage us to appear helpless, is to treat it with bemused indulgence while simultaneously amassing a vast arsenal of tools, and then using those tools to be anything but helpless. For example, here's a great weekend project: a shoe-rack to handle footwear build-up in closets. Made from inexpensive "gingerbread" trim, the rack gives you two layers of shoes, effectively doubling closet floor-space (and self-sufficiency).

Materials

• One piece of gingerbread trim (Home Depot)
• Eight feet of 1/2 inch copper pipe

Tools

• Saw
• Drill
• Clamp
• Measuring tape
• Square
• Forstner bit - 1/2 inch
• Pipe cutter

Cut Your Stuff

First, make a mark through the centre of your piece of gingerbread. Saw through the mark with a jigsaw, chop-saw, circular saw or handsaw. (If you use a handsaw, get one of the Japanese-style saws that cuts on the pull stroke; they're way more fun to use than the old traditional push-saw you inherited because nobody else wanted it. Pull saws used to be available only at Lee Valley Tools, but an increasing number of hardware stores and home centres are carrying them.)

Once you've cut your gingerbread in half, figure out the ideal distance between the two pipes that will form the shelf, and the best angle of tilt. Lay different shoes sideways against the gingerbread, tilting them until you find the ideal insertion points for the pipes that will support heels and toes. Mark those points on the wood surface. TIP: Make sure the pipes will be close enough together to catch the toes of high-heeled shoes! It's off-putting when the shoe-tips fall through the rack because the pipes are a bit too far apart.

Clamping Out

Next, lay the two pieces of gingerbread side by side, as though you were putting the original piece back together again. Transfer the pipe-insertion marks that you made on the first piece to the matching half. (Use a square to measure, making sure the pairs of holes will line up accurately.)

Clamp the wood pieces to your work surface. Drill the holes 3/4 inch deep using a half-inch Forstner bit, which is a very clean-cutting, high-status bit; you'll be swollen with pride to own one. Of course if you're not a flaming tool geek, a regular twist-drill bit works fine.

Pipe Dreams

Cut your copper pipe to length using a tube cutter, an effective little gadget found in the plumbing aisle. Copper pipe is a bit flexible under pressure, so you'll find you're limited with the length you can use, depending on the weight of your shoes.

Finally, insert the two copper pipes into the holes and load your rack with shoes. Then, just for contrast, mince around your new rack wearing restrictive clothing AND twirling your drill. If that's not the best of both worlds, I don't know what is.